This next truly shamanic dream was lucidly lived on Sunday, August 17, 1997 while I then lived in Montréal. At the time of the dream, the Moon transited both Aquarius and my ninth house.
What’s more, this dream dealt with the initiation of a former friend and brief lover from my years in Vancouver. Kirby was a fey, wildly idealistic man-child with a most beautiful spirit. From the moment with rough-sexed at the Club Vancouver bathhouse on West Pender Street, I knew that we would be fast friends. More than that, I instinctively knew that Kirby, before he boldly advertised, was sick with full-blown AIDS. Kirby had the largest, most beautiful eyes. Sadly, as his illness advanced, Kirby began experiencing AIDS dementia which was not especially palatable. Too, with his imminent passing, Kirby chose to become lost in religiosity a form of indulgent madness for which I have no patience.
In any event, the dream dealt with my questing to the astral plane to serve as a guide and shamanic mentor to the newly self-aware Kirby as astral plane habitué post soul-sleep. At the time, my pyramid was still back in Vancouver about to shipped out to me; however, I had a good collection of trusty crystals to keep me both grounded and focussed.
This was an immensely empowering dream for self and I should think, as well, Kirby.
An absolutely fabulous dream this, the first, would prove. This was a dream encounter with Kirby Ayers-de Sibley who definitely is now an astral plane habitué.
Kirby was rather severely ill as if full-blown with AIDS. Kirby also appeared terribly disoriented and as if sleepy. So very sad it was to have witnessed this.
*I knew right away that this had very much to do with the fact that Kirby has just awakened to the realisation that he has died.
He has been caught up in the long reparatory phase, some call the soul sleep, in which the energies are repaired. He was awaking from his long lonely sojourn in which he was expecting St. Peter to have appeared.
I have spent so many long moments in meditation, reaching out to Kirby and awaiting for him to respond. He has not been able to all this time because he has been so somnambulant and, as it were, in the dark.
Kirby’s soul was questing through his own personal mythos and had now moved on; finally, his soul had decided that there had to be something more. END.
Now his wings unfurled, Kirby was beginning to reach out to those of us who loved him and deeply cared about him. Though not surprising, it was still sad to see him in an old body that reflected the hard sojourn that had brought him here.
He wasn’t yet aware that he no longer needed to be identified with and bound to his former life’s AIDS-ravaged body. That aside, it was truly glorious to have seen him.
His energies were not yet fully focussed but they were so pure and refreshingly clear. This was like the marvellous innocence which Kirby radiated but now, it was being expressed at an even higher octave.
Such a joy it was to have encountered him. I knew that I was dreaming and what it all meant. I was quite pleased that he had reached out and I was more than happy to have been there for him, to serve as a guide of both dimensions to him.
Seeing Kirby Ayers-de Sibley filled me up just as equally as when I saw Merlin come through the door into that salon in the dream of July 25, 1992.
Pouring out my very soul to him, I said,
“Oh Kirby Ayers-de Sibley. Oh Kirby. Come here…”
I then however reached the distance between us, arms outstretched and hugged him. In that embrace, I exploded the light in all its intensity and filled every quadrant of his universe with my love.
Talk about being wide-open without anything to hide. Utterly relaxed, we both stood there fully naked. I tightly held on to him and felt his abundance of warmth.
By sharing my own life-force with him, I was intent on building up his energies. Reaching past his right cheek, I warmly kissed him while still tightly embraced.
So very good it was to have found this one, Kirby. I pleasurably groaned while drinking in his vibrational signature. I passed my light energies through the solar plexus and into his.
Into his right ear, I heavily breathed and allowed him to awaken to being alive but at a different octave. Soon, much to my surprise, Kirby became aroused.
Goodness, it was good to have had this aspect of his totality awakened. Of course, after his long, slow end-of-life passage, Kirby needed some good hot sex. He needed the energetic play.
At the time of his tumescence, I had moved to his left side with my hips pressed into his. In all honesty, I was aghast on first seeing him; he had been naked with his body looking completely spent and ravaged by AIDS.
Alarmed at having found him in that state, especially so long after his having transitioned, I had initially shuddered. I didn’t want him to be thus focussed.
Of course, I knew where he was coming from. After all, Kirby’s cosmological perspective had caused him to awaken to the real deal later rather than sooner.
Nonetheless, he was fully healed and sexually playful. There was no way that I could have snubbed him. He needed me to be there in the role of guide to him.
If this meant that I had to be a sexual partner for him then so be it. This was all about healing. I needed to stay with him, to be able to look past the harrowing memories of Kirby’s experience that led up to his passing of AIDS.
Making sure that he found his way in the familiar realms of the astral plane, I needed to have stuck around. I may not be an astral plane habitué but being as adept a dream shaman as I am, I was more fully aware than Kirby was to that point.
I had no qualms about a sexual interlude between us. Straight away, I knew that I could readily use sex between us to affect healing deeper within his astral self – at least, while he moved away from the life just concluded.
I suggested to him that we go try and find ourselves a place. I hadn’t a clue where we were except that, of course, it was somewhere on the astral plane.
For that reason, the peripherals of our surroundings were darkened and seemingly fading into nothingness where dimensions bled one into another. As a matter of fact, it was a familiar border.
So ambling about, we eventually arrived at a large astral plane bathhouse scenario. After having passed of the horrid sex-related scourge that is AIDS, it was nice place for one to have ended up on awaking to the discarnate experience.
Kirby was so very horny, I couldn’t get over it. Certainly, he was never this horny in the waking state when alive. I fully understood this as he marvelled at my body with an almost feverish ravenousness.
He was so beautiful to look at. Those large, clear and utterly innocent eyes of his were sheer magic to behold yet again. What was really interesting was, though he so obviously desired me, he didn’t quite know how to ask.
Kirby was aware that I was different in some way. He could sense that I was not like him.
This, of course, was due to his being just awakened to the awareness of an astral plane habitué. Kirby was not quite sure if persons with whom he is dealing were aware that they were dreaming or, more importantly, if they would remember the dream.
He was concerned if we had condoms; there clearly was a vestige of his former awareness which was no longer applicable. Obviously, there were some minor adjustments that Kirby had yet to make.
*When incarnate, to the point of seeming like a manufacturer’s sales rep, Kirby was zealous about condom use. END.
I assured him that I would be okay for having to fuck him without rubbers. Then I smeared my happy Johnson with thick, lard-like white lotion.
Kirby Ayers-de Sibley, when standing before me, then bent forward while turning around. I spread open his gorgeous arse, which always reminded me of Merlin’s though more athletic, and readied to awaken the dream shaman deep within me.
Slipping into him was the warmest, most effortless silken passage. Kirby was a true joy to have fucked. On entering the plush looseness of his arse, I became even more lucidly aware. Alas, the dream shaman had been aroused deep within.
My stamina was phenomenal. This was all about affecting uplift in his spirit. I was performing magic; this was intense energy work with sex having been the medium of choice.
I was quite aware that this was my reason for fucking him. This was pleasure but my greater thrust and objective here were spiritual. Doing the work necessary to uplift Kirby’s spirit and reintegrating the disparate parts of his totality, now that he was fully awakened into the discarnate state, was my focussed intention.
I did so much grunting and hard, guttural breath work as I beat out the life-force from me into him. The experience of fucking Kirby and the energy work involved simultaneously engaged my spirit on many levels.
We were in deep communion, on alternate levels, wherein the energy work was taking place. This was quite intense and taxing on me. One immediate benefit of this energy work was that the longer I fucked Kirby’s ready willing arse, the more robust and healthy his disease-ravaged body became.
He was coated in a fine sheet of sweat that I could smell. Too, there was a lot of radiant light shimmering off his body as it became more and more muscle-bound.
This experience was like a composition performed for the first time and one which was created from a place of knowing and guidance. There were changes of tonality, movement as we shamanically forged into full discarnate self-awareness.
Above all else, this was an extremely intense undertaking of energy transference. A truly healing dream experience this was. Excellent work for which I was very pleased to have served as a facilitator to my noble friend and now fully actualised astral plane habitué, Kirby Ayers-de Sibley.
Photo: Ken Moody and Robert Sherman
65.1 x 55.9 cm
Artist Proof 1/1, Edition of 10
© 1984, Robert Mapplethorpe
Provenance: Solomon R. Guggenheim Museum.
© 2015 Arvin da Braga. All Rights Reserved.