Merlin Shapeshifts.

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So here then a most jarring dream had, on Thursday, January 11, 1990.  This truly disturbing dream occurred whilst the Moon transited both my second house and Cancer.  Of the ones lived that day, it was the fourth dream recalled.

This dream was had less than two months after Merlin’s passing of AIDS and to have found him in a dream, rather unexpectedly, the revivification of life, health and boisterousness was stunningly jarring an experience.  Certainly, when last I had seen him he was within either side of 70lbs.  

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I would then be moving on as if going along the main road of The Alley, Sandy Point, St. Kitts.  There were some persons who were coming out of a large house that was much like Lara Wellesley’s.  However, it was white… it was an off-white, whitewashed, large stone house.

Everyone coming out of there was talking and laughing.  They were getting ready to go to a church somewhere.  They were piling into a minivan that was also white.

I had gone past them.  When coming back from Mount Idle, on the east side of the road by the old bank of the ground floor of Eustace Milne’s childhood home, from behind the minivan coming around between it and the bank building was Merlin.

He was wearing his light blue bandana – bought for him by Noëll, when he was in the hospital towards the end of his life.  He wore very ordinary clothing like he always did.  It was Merlin and he was very healthy.

He saw me at the same time that I saw him.

I was stunned.  I stood there catatonic.  I did not know what to do, and I thought,

‘What are you doing here?’

I was so happy to see him.  I hadn’t dreamt of him in so long.  I simply froze in my tracks.  I just couldn’t bring myself to talk… I just did not know what to say.

I wanted to scream my way out of being paralysed.  There was Merlin the embodiment of renewed vitality, I just couldn’t get over the fact.

He saw me and was momentarily surprised but instinctively he neurotically went into action.  Merlin simply began energetically walking and went up these stairs.

I bolted after him after getting over the added shock of his response.  I was surprised to see him in Sandy Point, St. Kitts.  I was so surprised to see him up and about.

I got up onto this landing after having lost sight of him.  When I got there, on my immediate left was a Chinese woman.  She was just on the cusp of her twenties.

She was wearing what Merlin had been wearing except that she had no pants on.  It was now a dress and the colour of the bandana… she no longer wore the bandana.

I felt so betrayed by this development.  Merlin had camouflaged himself, by shapeshifting, to become a woman.  He had shapeshifted becoming another race and another sex.

Merlin knew that I wouldn’t be able to relate to him thus.  Transformed, he wasn’t the Merlin with whom I was excited to interact.

Thus he became female, a counterpart of his totality, to create the distance between him and the Arvin that he had known.  I did not even look at her/him overlong.

The woman who was in charge of everything, organising the church outing, was not unlike Pannonica Kertész.  I said to her, “I came to get Merlin… to get his things, his bandana…”

“Well you can’t.  You can’t see him.  You have to make a deposit and then you wouldn’t be able to see him until giving the ring deposit back.” or something to that effect.

She had replied very matter-of-factly.  It was as though there had been a pact and somebody had reneged or something to that effect.  I found it most upsetting.

I was completely flabbergasted.

*Of course, Merlin chose to shapeshift in this dream because he wanted to have some distance between the raw emotionalism of the attachments associated with his just completed life.  I thought it interesting that though he had never travelled to the Caribbean of my upbringing, one of the earliest dreams of him on becoming an astral planet habitué found him there and of all places in Sandy Point, St. Kitts – a place he much wanted to visit.  END.

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Photo: Chinese model in A-line dress.

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© 2013-2026 Arvin da Brgha.  All Rights Reserved.

You Cheeky Little Imp!

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This dream occurred, on Friday, May 1, 1998, whilst I then lived in Montréal.  The Moon was in Cancer thereby transiting my second house.  It was sheer joy to have encountered Merlin’s playful spirit which was fully engaged as the trickster – the exalted dream shaman.

Once inside the house, I laid low for awhile and then got up to explore.  I do know that Pandora da Braga was on an upper level of the dwelling.

A little boy was outside in a stroller.  Above all else, there was no way of getting around one fact… this was a supremely intelligent child.  White, his hair was sandy-blond.

Naturally, he was regimented into a blue jumpsuit denoting his sex.  His legs were fat and there was, of course, the bulkiness of his being diapered.

The back of this boy’s knees were dimpled, fat and very cherubic a body was his.  His stroller sat on a paved walkway.

Two or three steps from the house’s landing led to the yard.  His back was turned to the yard’s six-foot-high, wooden fence of pale wood that was treated to be weather resistant.

As it had some traces of cyanide in it, the wood had an off-green hue to it.  Seated there, his left profile was closer to the house as I looked outside at him.

Whilst I absently worked at something, he inquisitively looked in at me.  I held up the bottled water that I had been drinking, extending it out the window, as if to offer him a drink.

He was keenly adept at the art of telepathy but feigned ignorance – as well he ought to have, as someone might have had him dismissed for mad.  Goodness knows, it would only take one superstitious adult to then have this young child declared demon-possessed because of his gifts.

Whoever he is, it was quite good to have connected with this august-souled young man.  Cocking me a look, he sized me up letting me know that he knew that I was playing games with him that he was not ignorant of.

I was floored by his candour.  He was a real cheeky devil who soon managed his way out of his stroller’s harness.  Since he was much too young to be walking, knowing that this was the dreamtime, he did the logical thing.

He shapeshifted and suddenly became a cat.  Thus, he magically acquired the stealth and agility which his paucity of human age and physical growth denied him.  I was blown away for not even I would have thought of such a magus move.

Once transformed, he became a large white cat which came up and quietly snuck into the house.  This was the sort of move that could readily have tricked and unhinged a lesser mortal, in this situation, but I was aware that it was him all along.

Turning around, only briefly, I had lost sight of him but caught his drifting tail as he sneaked around a corner.  I was not, indeed, going to be hoodwinked.

Roaring aloud, thrilled by the child’s brilliant display of both wit and magus energy, I went chasing after the cat.  Like the child that it represented, the cat bolted rushing through the house by going downstairs.

Eventually, it settled on a pile of crates.  The crates were off in a far, darkened corner of the basement.  Though a large, multiple-roomed house, the basement was not partitioned.  It was simply a large open space.

In the form of the water heater, heat and air conditioning systems, the usual signs of normalcy were present.  Nothing here could have proven a fire hazard.

Through which the cat could come and go as he pleased, the crates comfortably sat just beneath a tiny basement window.  The window proved, in fact, an air duct which was shared with another of the house’s many rooms.

Clever though he was, I was not fooled by his cheeky little act.  A large white tom, it had a fat rump on it.  A pure snow-white cat it was.  Addressing it as the precocious boy that I knew it to be, I called out to the tom.

I told him to be careful, being so high up on those crates, to not hurt himself.  To my surprise, he cockily shot back, sounding every bit like Merlin when speaking in his duxypuss voice,

“Oh come on, I’m a puss!”

I roared, blown away by the playfulness.  In one sure leap, it leapt through the opening and headed upstairs.  Just like that, he was out of sight.  He had flashed the tail at me just before taking flight.

I was stunned by his wicked playfulness.  This kid had me dismissed as a real pushover.  Not missing a beat, I went running upstairs calling out to Pandora as I did.

I told Pandora to keep her eye on that cat – I did not want it to get away.  When I came up, Pandora asked what cat I was talking about.  There was no cat in the house, she was confident, nor was there one normally.

To my surprise, the little devil had shapeshifted again and returned to his original state by becoming a rather precocious human child.  There he was holding the same bottled water that I had previously offered him.

He sat there, hungrily gulping down the water, all the while looking at me as though he had never laid eyes on me before.  Indeed, quite the cheeky little imp.  The sight of him only made me roar even more.

I couldn’t believe his brilliance.  It was such refreshing magic.

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Photo: White domestic short-haired cat & Buster sporting Lion cut.

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© 2013-2026 Arvin da Brgha.  All Rights Reserved.

On Board the Schooner.

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The dream occurred, on Monday, December 2, 1991, whilst the Moon was in Scorpio transiting my sixth house.  Every now and again, long after his passing, there would be dreams such as this one which would revisit the gravity of Merlin’s end-of-life illness.

These dreams are uplifting in their beauty, realism and inspiration.  Deeply breathe in and drink of this poetic turn.

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I was standing by this shore looking out to sea.  There were some orcas that had come close into shore.  It was, in fact, an unusually murky sea.  The waters looked even cloudier because the cetaceans had been chopping up the sea a great deal with their mammoth bodies.

Out to sea on these rocks, there were some wonderful, little sea lions basking.  There was clearly a coral reef in that section of the water.  Where the killer whales were, of course, there was no reef.

Suddenly, one of the orcas bolted like a submarine-launched torpedo.  With lightning speeds, in such shallow waters, it made for a young adult sea lion.

It was overcast here.  Goodness, before I knew what was happening, it had ferociously ripped into this animal and was manically feeding on it.

Basically, the pod had come in to feed but this one orca had become frustrated.  The tide was rapidly changing and they knew that they would have to head out to sea.  Based on the tidal activity, the pod knew that they had arrived a bit too late to make a successful kill.

I had been looking at this bunch of guys who were working as marine biologists.  They were there to usher the orcas back out to sea so that they wouldn’t beach.  This would be most queer if they did because orcas almost never do beach.

The human professionals had to do so very cautiously and at a safe distance because, at any moment, the orcas could have attacked.  Finally, they managed to guide the orcas out to sea where they then took off.

After that, I entered the sea as did some other bathers.  There were about eight of us and we swam out to sea because moored out to sea was a wonderful, large white yacht.

The stern of it was facing directly to shore.  Another vessel was also out to sea; it was a brown schooner and a bit off to the left.  As we swam I did the crawl; it made my progression so timelessly beautiful.

The water was not too choppy and the further out one got the murkier it did, in fact, get – and just as well.  I started gaining, whilst a girl swam to my right and rear.  She was pointing out that I was soon going to get ahead of the guy in the lead who was outfitted with snorkelling gear.

He kept on looking down into the water.  Taking his time, every now and again, he lazily used his fins.  This guy wore a partial wetsuit that ended in shorts at just above mid-thigh.

The marine biologists were, of course, wearing full wetsuits.  Their wetsuits were no doubt, though black, outfitted with that mesh to prevent them from being severely injured if attacked.

I effortlessly swam and, in point of fact, I was almost as if a fish in my complete union with the water.  More than that, I progressed through the water by sheer will.

As a result, I was as if an aquatic creature in its medium and one not hampered in its progress.  Of course, normally I would have been much slower for being human but things were different here in the dreamtime.

It was, in fact, quite beautiful.  My head was always above the surface.  When I got close to the stern of the white yacht, it was populated by a bunch of young-souled, aggressively smiling people who were on a leisure trip.  The stern of this yacht was unusually wide with a white awning overhanging it.

When I got to the side of the brown schooner – a beautifully polished, medium-tanned wood, I then propelled my way out of the water and dove up into the air.

At the zenith, which I had gotten to by powerfully kicking my legs in a cissons-like motion taking me clear of the water, I was now above the considerably raised deck of the schooner to my left.

Stationary in the air, for a second, I then arched my head forward bringing my body forwards.  Pulling down my head, I brought it into my pointed feet with legs fully extended.  At that, I kicked opened my legs and was now stationary in the air whilst perfectly upside down.  My head was craning back so that I could see the water way below.

I began diving downwards but this was more so flight than merely crashing down at normal speeds.  Majestically, I gracefully spliced into the water.  It was a rather effortless entry.  Beautiful!  It was quite nice.

I then came up for air.  All the young souls, on the white yacht, were excitedly paying tribute to how skilled I was.  They had been thoroughly impressed – not that I had done this for anyone’s benefit.

I had distinctly been aware that I was dreaming.  It felt so freeing to will my body through the water that the next logical progression was to have become even freer in another medium – air.

The water, in fact, was covered here with seaweed as though it were close to the full Moon.  Characteristically, it is during this stormy lunar phase that much kelp gets uprooted, harvested and make it ashore.  This always creates quite a mess of things.

I then got up onto the brown schooner with the others and we hung out.  The guys on board were going to be taking our picture.  I was hunched down in the front row and was sunnily smiling enjoying having my picture taken – which is certainly rare for me.

However, I thought that because I was feeling in such good spirits I would show-off and leap off the edge of the schooner and into the water.  I did not, however do so.  In fact, I was glad that I hadn’t because when I got down into the water, I realised that the water was quite shallow on that side of the schooner.

The vessel had, in fact, been docked at this reef but was in no danger of grounding, for being moored there.  It was a very thick, massive, coral reef which was on the port side of the schooner.

I went and walked around on top of the coral reef; the sea came to just above ankle level.  So had I dived in, I would have suffered a great deal of head and neck injuries; it wouldn’t have been pleasant at all.

Then I came off the reef by walking on it out to sea.  I then jumped off the reef’s edge and down into the deep water.  I was swimming around towards the bow to see the other side of the schooner.

It was then that I had a pang of fear thinking,

‘My god, Arvin, what if there are sharks just below the water here, having hidden out under the edge of the reef?  I could be attacked from below.’

The water was so murky.  The profusion of kelp obstructed a good view of things.  However, then I thought that that was being silly of me because that was being fear-focussed.

It was the certified way in which to bring on negative experiences.  So I promptly decided to heal myself of such images and to move away from such fear-based vortices.

Then, on swimming around to the starboard side of the schooner, the kelp was so thick that one could easily walk on it.  I got up and walked leisurely atop the kelp.  It was delightful an experience.  I moved towards a door that was opened in the hull – just inches above the water.

On getting inside the hull, I visited with a couple of people.  We were talking and having a good time.  I can’t now, however, say that I recall the gist of what we were discussing.

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I do know though that at one point whilst on board, I had encountered Merlin.  I was so blown away to have seen him.  He was off by himself.  He was alone and very introspective.  He was very weak.  Immediately, I came to his side and visited with him.

I felt a swell of compassion towards him.  It was devastating to see him in this state because he was very frail and just as he was a week before his passing.  It was so wholly unexpected.

Merlin was so drained, for being ill, that he couldn’t even communicate.  However, it was okay, for me.  All I needed was the drink of his company and the touch of those soulful – though here weary – truly magus eyes to parch my questing soul.

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Photo: Schooner.

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© 2013-2026 Arvin da Brgha.  All Rights Reserved.