Let’s show those crass, Yanks some class! Who does she think she is, parading about New York City… as if? World premier, it is. We’ll pull out all the stops and banish their coverage. Alas, always missing the mark, these island dwellers. Then again, it is the year of the cicada, replete with dragging wings… ha! Coming thru y’all… Princess Gurn and Squeak de Bourbon y Bucklebury, looking so on point – her outfit like yet another discarded cicada shell this summer. Though, truth be told, it does bring back memories of that god awful shower curtain at my Côte-des-Neiges apartment.

Suddenly, I feel some Johnny Cash coming on…. gurn gurn gurn gurn… poom pee doom doom dooo… yee-haw! The dead eye, the mouldy sillage of sodden cardboard weighs down the air… Soon, another face-hurting outing completed, she can lamentably go home with the bald, simpleton Bourbon bastard, argue, bitch some more, have a drink, eat a lima bean or two then control that figure by chain smoking well into the night… charmant. How appropriate the choice of gown that deftly mirrors the shell of a life of ennui and playing dress up.

As for this absurd reinvention of the listless, mousy, Edward Gorey, gurning ghoul, by Britons one and all, Catherine has, truth be told, evolved into every bull dyke’s wet dream.

All she said was, ‘Hi everybody’ and all New York, alas, all America was besotted. Though the British media have all but burnt the negro at the stake, there she was in Central Park and more radiant than Jeanne d’Arc, after having survived the isle of racist boors by whom she was no doubt spiritually crushed.

I will never forget standing in Whitehall on Remembrance Sunday 2018 and being exhausted from the hatefulness being directed towards the Duchess of Sussex from positively everyone around me.

Sorry Yank haters, the camera does not lie… stop pretending you did not notice that snippet into their true relations… Like Andrew’s seedy proclivities, you cannot indefinitely explain the truth away.

As ever, life is like a flying dream; if you look down, you’re fucked. Enjoy the ride and fear no one!

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