A few years back, a theatre friend came over for dinner – remember those pre-pandemic rituals when that was a thing – and big time insisted that we stop to watch the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Of course, for being a lucid dreamer, I almost never look at TV and only went out and got one, to watch Diana, Princess of Wales’ funeral in September 1997. Et juste comme ça, I was hooked. So glad the Briton was sent packing so full of it and like all Britons in Hollywood, overdoing the hauteur and accent on the ‘Yanks.’ But enough about that.

This season, after last season and Denise Richards promised and supplied nothing, I have actually been watching every episode multiple times. Then this past Wednesday, something clicked, Sutton was being bullied by the cornered, knock-kneed boor and I thought out loud, ‘Holy fuck, why have I never done her numbers all this fucking time? And as the saying goes, Google is your friend and off I went.

Erika Jayne… Numbers never lie and where there’s smoke, there’s fire. Hell the forest is ablaze!

10/7/1971 (Pig) Erika Jayne 1.8.8 = 8.

Clarity before we dive in. This is Vedic numerology, which does not gussy anything up. It deals with the negative manifestation of all numbers 1 through 9 as these are the energies which we are here to transmute during the course of the incarnation. Secondly, the numbers are arranged in quantitative order; in short, a day is less than a month, which in turn, is less than a year. Conversely, the first number – the day of one’s birth represents the energy body. The mind is the day and month and the second number – the way one thinks. The number total of the day and month plus the year is the life path – the third number – and lastly, the fourth is all three numbers totalled, which represents the destiny/soul number… in short what you are here to learn.

1 – energy body – the bully! Realising that it is game over, ones (1) – the bully – will cannibalise those who see through them. In the recent episode of RHOBH, Erika suddenly turning nasty and cannibalising Sutton, triggered this eureka moment for me. Like monstrous Saddam Hussein, realising that the end was at hand, his last act was to viciously cannibalise his executioners. This is precisely what Erika was doing to Sutton. The insults and vicious attacks simply betray that Sutton knows the truth. More importantly, Sutton did not come by her wealth by dubious means. When and if you cheat, you do not win and this is what stings for Erika… she is on the cusp of losing it all and Sutton has everything that she has never had, regardless the façade, and never will. 1 energy body persons are intensely feared. One fears being banished by them as they so cunningly gaslight and pull the wool over one’s eyes.

8 – the mind – that on which one is chiefly focused. 8 is the money number. All persons with 8 for the mindset number will get paid top dollar for whatever they do. The are motivated by being very well-compensated for their time and they will always marry into money rather than not. Like Diana, Princess of Wales, Erika is also 1/8… they have nothing else in common. Second number of 8 people are motivated by a need never to be dependent and never experience want as they witnessed in someone, likely a parent, during childhood. These persons are also motivated by the need for power and winning… at all costs.

8 – Life path – what you will experience. 8 being the money number as 8 is also cyclical and doubles back on itself and represents duality, there is the very real risk of experiencing an Icarian reversal in fortunes during the course of life. Depending on the other numbers in one’s numerological makeup, you will either bounce back or fare not so well. A person, for instance, with three in their makeup when having a lifepath of 8 will see the financial setback as a challenge to battle back from and will have a great laugh when getting back on top. However, if you have more than one 8, you are less likely to succeed in coming back, especially when your reversal of fortune will likely be owing to one having been a damn thief.

8 – Soul/Destiny number… Lord Jesus is all one can say when this is the fourth number and it is even more damning when there are two other 8s! The wonderful thing about 8 is that in hindsight, it always lays bare all the clues. With three 8s, Erika Jayne has been revealing her hand – it is almost as though it were deliberate but that is the beauty of karma. With a destiny number of 8, whatever bad karma you create during the course of the lifetime, will be settled here and now and not down the road in a future life.

Yes, indeed, It’s Expensive to Be Me is the anthem of the bully who drove her man to criminal ends to make an over-the-hill pretender a pop queen to an archly fickle, ghettoised demographic. Pat the Puss is just a future reference to a life behind bars in due course. Hell, she may as well remake the McGuire Sisters hit song Sugartime with lyrics like: Pussy in the morning. Pussy in the Evening. Pussy at Suppertime, all done in an orange jumpsuit of course… now there is an idea for a Halloween outfit this year for Lisa Rinna. Damn right, Bitches, she has made a Pretty Mess of life… right down to the Tammy Faye Bakker tears. Go on Sutton, do the right thing, there is no honour in being associated with a damn thief…

Orphans… Lion Air… Hormones. Fuck it, the fork says she’s done… No seriously, Fuck You! Bitch Bye!

As ever, life is like a flying dream; if you look down, you’re fucked. Enjoy the ride and fear no one!

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